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Make Jihad, Not Love: A Russian-Speaking Militant Pens Letter To His Future Wife

The open letter to future Islamic State wives says wannabe jihadi brides should play hard to get. (file photo)

The open letter to future Islamic State wives says wannabe jihadi brides should play hard to get. (file photo)

As thousands of singles know, finding the right person to date and even eventually settle down with can be a tricky and time-consuming process.

And despite reports of "jihadi brides" flocking to Syria and Iraq to wed militants, it's apparently not always easy for those marriage-minded young men fighting alongside the Islamic State (IS) group to find "the one" either.

Abu Dudjana Salyaf ("the Salafist"), a Russian-speaking Islamic State (IS) militant who says he is based in Mosul, is not married and has yet to meet the woman with whom he will tie the knot.

However, Abu Dudjana is very clear about what he wants from love and marriage -- something that dating experts agree can help in one's quest for a partner.

The Russian-speaking militant spelled out his desires in an open letter to his future wife that he shared on the Russian-language social networking site VKontakte this week.

While some Western dating experts suggest that 21st-century women can and should make the first move, Abu Dudjana has a somewhat more old-fashioned approach to relationships.

"To my dear future wife, if you love me, do not make me a declaration of haram [forbidden] love, this will not attract me but will push me away! I'm not attracted by love games. If you love me, be patient and I will knock on your door when the time comes," Abu Dudjana says.

The Russian-speaking militant also insists that his future life partner not date any other men, so that he can be her first and only love. Naturally, sex before marriage is also not on the cards for Abu Dudjana and his future bride.

"Do not love me, I want you not to know about love. I want to teach you to love myself, when the right time comes along, and when you will be mine," Abu Dudjana says.

In many parts of the world, declarations of mutual affection and love are considered an integral and natural part of a budding romantic relationship. Abu Dudjana shuns such practices, telling his future wife that she should not bother him by expressing what she feels, at least not until after the wedding.

"Do not tell me about your feelings, don't give me your time, or you will alienate me. I am a man who does not want the person whom I love to commit sin while living a forbidden love, while keeping his family in the dark," Abu Dudjana says.

Commitment Issues

Abu Dudjana at first says that he doesn't want his future soulmate to confess her love because he wants to spare her guilty feelings. However, he goes on to provide another reason for his request: Abu Dudjana wants his future wife to play hard to get.

"Don't be readily available to me because then I won't appreciate you," he warns.

According to Abu Dudjana, when women express love to their future spouse, this can cause men to become unable to commit.

"I don't want you to be a temporary whim for me. I want you to be my wife, my love and the mother of my children. I want you to be the one with whom I spend the rest of my life," he explains.

Beyond these commitment issues, there is a religious imperative behind Abu Dudjana's calls for his future life partner to avoid any expressions of emotion or love during their courtship.

"How can I be considered a Muslim if I try to discredit you? How much of a Muslim would I be in your eyes if I pushed you to betray your family? How I can trust love when it angers God? [Love] should be only via marriage according to the laws of Shari'a," Abu Dudjana says.

Although it might seem like a challenge for any woman to date Abu Dudjana, the Russian-speaking militant has a final message of hope and support for his future bride, to keep her strong until the wedding.

"In the meantime, be patient and do not be depressed. After all, to love means to guard you, to love means to bring you closer to God. To love means to save yourself and not murder the beauty that is within you," Abu Dudjana concludes.

The Russian-speaking militant signs his letter, "Your future husband (inshallah [God willing]").

-- Joanna Paraszczuk

About This Blog

"Under The Black Flag" provides news, opinion, and analysis about the impact of the Islamic State (IS) extremist group in Syria, Iraq, and beyond. It focuses not only on the fight against terrorist groups in the Middle East, but also on the implications for the region and the world. The blog's primary author, James Miller, closely covered the first three years of the Arab Spring, with a focus on Syria, and is now the managing editor of The Interpreter, where he covers Russia's foreign and domestic policy and the Kremlin's wars in Syria and Ukraine. Follow him on Twitter: @Millermena


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