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Don't You Want To Get Yourself A Husband?!

Under pressure to conform.

Under pressure to conform.

Blogger Majarahaye Holu khanum (The Adventures of Peach Lady ) writes about the difficulties of being a woman in Iran and the social pressure that women face to get married and have kids:

Until you turn 18, you are at ease, but afterwards the murmurings begin: didn't you get into any university? What's your major? What profession do you want to go for? Does it pay well? And the interminable questions continue.

When you get into university and pursue your studies, they don't bug you at first, but the questions arise again: Don't you want to get yourself a husband? No?! What else would you do then? Do you even have any suitors?! Who are they?!

It's the same in the end, no matter how much you study, you have got to go to your husband's house and do the housework and take care of the kids. So hurry up before the good suitors escape.

After you have gotten married, once again you are not bothered at first, but later on, it's the same story all over again: Don't you want to have children?! Not yet, why not?! You'll get old and it'll pass your age. Are you and your husband all right; are you trying but not getting any results?!! Do you want me to refer you to a good doctor?!!

They would keep going on and on. They would drop some pieces of bread on your head, while cleaning the table after some dinner party, as if it will somehow help you get pregnant (I have personally experienced that, all of a sudden I felt the dinning cloth being cleared over my head. I got up and gave an angry look to my aunt when I heard them all saying, "God shall soon bless you with a child," and my aunt took the dinning cloth away).

After becoming a mother, you are once again left alone for some time, but as the child grows older and older, some family members who have got nothing better to do start on again: This kid needs siblings, he can't grow up alone....

The good part is, they become helpless at this point, as nobody gives birth to more than one child these days. When they find out that their own child doesn't have any more kids than a boy or a girl, they become helpless and can't taunt you anymore, while you may freely stare into their eyes and taunt them instead if you feel like it.

About This Blog

Persian Letters is a blog that offers a window into Iranian politics and society. Written primarily by Golnaz Esfandiari, Persian Letters brings you under-reported stories, insight and analysis, as well as guest Iranian bloggers -- from clerics, anarchists, feminists, Basij members, to bus drivers.


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