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When Life Hands You Lemons, Tell Ruble Jokes

  • Daisy Sindelar

Communist Party supporters dressed as white bears saw through a replica of a Russian ruble coin during a protest rally against the policies of the Russian government in front of parliament in Moscow on December 22.

Communist Party supporters dressed as white bears saw through a replica of a Russian ruble coin during a protest rally against the policies of the Russian government in front of parliament in Moscow on December 22.

Remember when the ruble's biggest problem was that it was pornographic?

Such worries now seem enviable in a month that has seen the Russian currency plummet to historic lows of 80 rubles to the dollar, reeling from the one-two punch of low oil prices and Western sanctions.

Although the ruble has gained some strength since bottoming out, the battered currency remains the butt of many online jokes, as Russians cash in on one of their richest natural resources -- black humor:

Kremlin spin doctor Dmitry Kiselyov announces the news: "The price of the dollar continues to fluctuate. This proves what I've said all along -- that the dollar is the world's most unreliable currency."

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Everybody says you need to save your money in rubles. So that's what I did. I hid my money inside a big pile of rubles. There's no way anyone's going to look for it there.

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Where can I go hang out for 100 rubles?
1973.

What would you change if you could go back in time?
Rubles.

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The Russian central bank announced that it is moving from a floating ruble rate to a drowning one.

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What's the difference between a dollar and a ruble? Approximately one dollar.

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Son: Dad, I need five rubles to go to the store.
Dad: Ten rubles? What do you need 25 rubles for?

The Russian central bank has urged Russians to remain calm, saying there's no way the euro and the dollar can go higher than 99 rubles -- after all, the currency-exchange signs can't go higher than two digits! ​

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Russian banks have ordered 12-digit currency signs -- to make room for "Crimea is ours!"

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The ruble didn't fall. It just lay down for a rest.

"Sorry, we're going up!"

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Excuse me, are these your prices, or a telephone number?

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The ruble has passed a psychologically important milestone -- "I don't even care anymore."

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The ruble began to fall when the Duma demanded that Apollo's member be removed from the 100-ruble note. We shouldn't have insulted the gods like that.

"Boy, are you fat!"

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I made tea two rubles ago, and it's still warm!

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Starting on January 1, it will be possible to carry money out of Russia only in rubles and only by trainload.

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Before the end of the year the Russian government has promised to stabilize the ruble. Even two, if possible.

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Yes, the ruble falls. But unlike the Ukrainian hryvnya, it falls with honor!

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