"Ayatollah Ahmad Jannati, the head of the powerful Guardians Council, is Iran’s oldest man. No one knows when he was born. He is said to have been on planet Earth before all of us, even before Adam and Eve..."

That's the gist of numerous jokes that are making the rounds about the senior cleric who is in his mid- eighties.

“Jannati has a copy of the Torah signed by Moses,” is how one joke goes.

Another one has Jannati speaking to scientists: "For you the Big Bang is just a theory," he says. "For me it's a memory.”

In a similar vein, another joke has Ayatollah Jannati talking to the Fars news agency about his memories of the extinction of the dinosaurs.

The jokes seem to be a reaction to Jannati’s three decades on Iran’s political scene and his status as one of the country’s key players.

As the chairman of the Guardians Council since 1988, Jannati has played an active role in banning any attempt at political reform and disqualifying reformist and liberal election candidates.

Sociologist Saeed Peivandi believes the continuation of Jannati's “negative role” and his disconnectedness with the realities of Iran and its young population are among the main reasons for the many jokes making fun of his age.

“There are other figures who have been involved in Iranian politics for as long as [Jannati], even if they might not be as old as him" he says. "Nonetheless, they have changed their positions and have also altered their views, which have been evolving over time. But the only one who seems to be repeating the same old views like a tape recorder is Jannati. This can be hard for the public to take and they see jokes as the only way to confront it.”

Conservative Media Hit Back

The number of jokes about the uncharismatic cleric and their quick dissemination through word of mouth, text messages, and social media, has elicited a response from some conservative media.

Last week, the “Panjere” weekly, which is associated with a conservative lawmaker, said that the jokes are an “election plot” aimed at damaging the Guardians Council.

“Why has Ayatollah Jannati been targeted by so many jokes in the past few months?" it asked. "Do they want to slowly erode his scientific and political record?”

Mohammad Mousavi Khoeniha, a former Iranian official and the head of the reformist Association of Combatant Clerics, recently poked fun at Jannati on his website when he was asked about the upcoming March Parliamentary elections.

“There are two permanent things in this world,” he wrote. “One is a good reputation; the other is Ayatollah Jannati.” 

Jokes About Leaders Are Nothing New

Iranians have always made fun of their leaders. In the early years after the 1979 revolution, many jokes targeted Ayatollah Montazeri the designated successor of the founder of the Islamic republic who later became a top dissident and was put under house arrest.

In the jokes, Iranians poked fun at Montazeri who was perceived as naive. The grand ayatollah who later became known as the Godfather of the Green Opposition movement, acknowledged the jokes in an interview that was aired after his death by the Persian Service of the BBC.

In recent years, Iranian president Mahmud Ahmadinejad has been the butt of many jokes, which are often related to his appearance or to some of his controversial and unusual statements.

It appears now, however, that Jannati has replaced him on the joke scene.

As the “Baztab” weekly reported, the jokes about the cleric started last year, after the Guardians Council dismissed a rumor that Jannati had passed away following some serious health issues.

The incident probably gave some Iranians the impression that the hard-line cleric, who sometimes leads Tehran’s Friday Prayers, would stay with them forever.

The impression is reflected in a number of jokes about how the angel of death, Azrael, has been unsuccessfully making elaborate plans to send Jannati to the afterworld.

One joke fresh from Tehran has Azrael asking other archangels for help in catching Jannati.

"Gabriel, you stand at the top of the street," he says. "Michael, please stand in the middle of the street, Israfel and I will stand at the other end.”

-- Golnaz Esfandiari

"Ayatollah Ahmad Jannati, the head of the powerful Guardians Council, is Iran’s oldest man. No one knows when he was born. He is said to have been on planet Earth before all of us, even before Adam and Eve..."

That's the gist of numerous jokes that are making the rounds about the senior cleric who is in his mid- eighties.

“Jannati has a copy of the Torah signed by Moses,” is how one joke goes.

Another one has Jannati speaking to scientists: "For you the Big Bang is just a theory," he says. "For me it's a memory.”

In a similar vein, another joke has Ayatollah Jannati talking to the Fars news agency about his memories of the extinction of the dinosaurs.

The jokes seem to be a reaction to Jannati’s three decades on Iran’s political scene and his status as one of the country’s key players.

As the chairman of the Guardians Council since 1988, Jannati has played an active role in banning any attempt at political reform and disqualifying reformist and liberal election candidates.

Sociologist Saeed Peivandi believes the continuation of Jannati's “negative role” and his disconnectedness with the realities of Iran and its young population are among the main reasons for the many jokes making fun of his age.

“There are other figures who have been involved in Iranian politics for as long as [Jannati], even if they might not be as old as him" he says. "Nonetheless, they have changed their positions and have also altered their views, which have been evolving over time. But the only one who seems to be repeating the same old views like a tape recorder is Jannati. This can be hard for the public to take and they see jokes as the only way to confront it.”

Conservative Media Hit Back

The number of jokes about the uncharismatic cleric and their quick dissemination through word of mouth, text messages, and social media, has elicited a response from some conservative media.

Last week, the “Panjere” weekly, which is associated with a conservative lawmaker, said that the jokes are an “election plot” aimed at damaging the Guardians Council.

“Why has Ayatollah Jannati been targeted by so many jokes in the past few months?" it asked. "Do they want to slowly erode his scientific and political record?”

Mohammad Mousavi Khoeniha, a former Iranian official and the head of the reformist Association of Combatant Clerics, recently poked fun at Jannati on his website when he was asked about the upcoming March Parliamentary elections.

“There are two permanent things in this world,” he wrote. “One is a good reputation; the other is Ayatollah Jannati.” 

Jokes About Leaders Are Nothing New

Iranians have always made fun of their leaders. In the early years after the 1979 revolution, many jokes targeted Ayatollah Montazeri the designated successor of the founder of the Islamic republic who later became a top dissident and was put under house arrest.

In the jokes, Iranians poked fun at Montazeri who was perceived as naive. The grand ayatollah who later became known as the Godfather of the Green Opposition movement, acknowledged the jokes in an interview that was aired after his death by the Persian Service of the BBC.

In recent years, Iranian president Mahmud Ahmadinejad has been the butt of many jokes, which are often related to his appearance or to some of his controversial and unusual statements.

It appears now, however, that Jannati has replaced him on the joke scene.

As the “Baztab” weekly reported, the jokes about the cleric started last year, after the Guardians Council dismissed a rumor that Jannati had passed away following some serious health issues.

The incident probably gave some Iranians the impression that the hard-line cleric, who sometimes leads Tehran’s Friday Prayers, would stay with them forever.

The impression is reflected in a number of jokes about how the angel of death, Azrael, has been unsuccessfully making elaborate plans to send Jannati to the afterworld.

One joke fresh from Tehran has Azrael asking other archangels for help in catching Jannati.

"Gabriel, you stand at the top of the street," he says. "Michael, please stand in the middle of the street, Israfel and I will stand at the other end.”

-- Golnaz Esfandiari

Iranian state radio has said that an Iranian company is sending the United States a model of the American surveillance drone captured by Tehran, AP reports:


“Teribon” has posted some pictures of the miniature drone that is being manufactured by “Art Group Ayeh.

The technical director of the company is quoted by "Teribon" as saying that the toy model drone has been produced in different colors for different tastes.

We are wondering what color will the U.S. get? Will it be the color of the Iranian flag: green, white, red? Or the stars and stripes?

The drone can be ordered here.

Former senior Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC) commander Hossein Alaei, who came under attack over a recent op-ed piece, has said that he did not mean to compare Iran's clerical establishment with the Pahlavi regime.

In a note posted on Iranian news websites, Alaei said that he wanted to give a picture of the repressive and dictatorial behavior of the shah, who was ousted from power following the 1979 revolution.

Alaei's op-ed piece has been interpreted -- both by hard-liners inside Iran and also by opponents of the Iranian regime inside and outside the country -- as criticism of some of the decisions made by Iran's Supreme leader Ayatollah Khamenei, including using force against antigovernment protesters in 2009 and denying opposition members the right to protest peacefully.

Some observers had said Alaei was warning Khamenei to learn from his mistakes and not to end up like the shah, who was forced into exile.

Twelve commanders of the IRGC expressed regret over the letter, which they said had brought joy to Iran's enemies. Dozens of hard-liners staged a protest outside Alaei's residence.

Following the criticism and attacks, Alaei wrote that his article had been misinterpreted.

"Unfortunately, some of the domestic media, with their own interpretation, paved the way for foreign media to say whatever they wanted and analyze the article based on their own guesses," he said.

He added that he will continue on the right path of opposing despotism, defending the true nature of the Islamic Revolution, and confronting the dominance of the United States, which he said he has been doing all his life.

He concluded by saying that support for the concept of velayat-e faqih -- the rule of the supreme leader -- preserves Iran from any harm.  

One Iranian analyst told Persian Letters that Alaei is trying to lessen the pressure he's been facing over the past days but that he is not backtracking.

"He pays respect to the Islamic Revolution and gives lip service to the velayat-e faqih, but he repeats his point -- albeit softly," the analyst said.

In his article, Alaei names and praises the founder of the Islamic republic, Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini, for his guidance and leadership of the revolution but never mentions Khamenei, who succeeded Khomeini.

"That's exactly the irony," the analyst said. "He may be suggesting that Khamenei is not the real follower of Khomeini and his velayat-e faqih. Isn't it what many reformists say? They believe that if Khomeini was alive, things would have been different."

In its January 16 editorial, the ultra-hard-line "Kayhan" daily, which often reflects the views of Khamenei, criticized Alaei's original op-ed piece while expressing hope that his subsequent note is the "first step" in returning from the "deviated path" he has taken.

-- Golnaz Esfandiari

Hossein Alaei, a former senior commander of Iran's powerful Revolutionary Guards Corp (IRGC), has come under attack by his fellow guards and hard-liners over an article in which he appeared to draw an analogy between the rule of Iran's Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei's rule and the last days of the shah of Iran, Mohammad Reza Pahlavi, who was ousted from power in the 1979 revolution.

In an op-ed published last week in the "Ettelaat" daily, Alaei, a prominent wartime commander and the former chief of the IRGC navy, raised a number of hypothetical questions the shah could have pondered after being forced into exile.


He added that dictators who believe they have the right to rule over the people forever only think about these issues after they have been forced to flee, like Libya's former leader Muammar Qaddafi.

Alaei ended his piece with a quote from the Koran: "Thus, learn your lesson, o men of vision."

The issues raised by Alaei were widely interpreted as criticism of the very same moves by Khamenei, including his green light to the brutal 2009 postelection crackdown. The house arrests of opposition leaders Mir Hossein Musavi and Mehdi Karrubi are said to have been put in place with the blessing of Khamenei.

In an open letter to Alaei, 12 current and former commanders of the IRGC accused him of insulting the Iranian establishment and said he had made Iran's enemies happy.

Meanwhile, on January 14, hard-liners staged a protest in front of Alaei's house and chanted slogans against him. The semi-official Fars news agency, which is affiliated with the IRGC, said the protest was held in reaction to Alaei's "insulting" note, in which Fars said he had compared the "sacred Islamic establishment of Iran" with the Pahlavi regime.

(To see photos of the protest, including slogans that hard-liners sprayed on Alaei's house, click here.)

Some hard-line websites and blogs have also criticized Alaei over his article, with one site referring to him as a hyena. (In Persian, the word for hyena, "kaftar," rhymes with "sardar," which is the word for commander.)

In 2010, the head of the IRGC, Mohammad Ali Jafari, acknowledged that some IRGC members had been supportive of the opposition movement. The IRGC played a major role in the repression of Iranian citizens who took to the streets in 2009 to protest the reelection of President Mahmud Ahmadinejad.

Jafari said those guards had since been convinced that they had been wrong.

Alaei's note could signal that some of the IRGC's current and former members remain unconvinced.

-- Golnaz Esfandiari

Is Jennifer Lopez the long-sought solution to the Iranian nuclear crisis?

And can she improve the deteriorating human rights situation in the Islamic republic?

We shouldn’t discount the power of music and some Latin hip shaking, but one U.S.-based advocacy group has something else in mind.

United Against Nuclear Iran (UANI) is a group that says it is working  to prevent Iran from "fulfilling its ambition to obtain nuclear weapons" -- a charge Iranian officials have repeatedly rejected.

It has now called on Jennifer Lopez to end her partnership with the car manufacturer Fiat, if the company refuses to terminate its business with Iran.

UANI claims a Fiat subsidiary, Iveco, sells and distributes trucks in Iran, which the group says have been used by the regime to transport ballistic missiles and stage  public executions.

UANI also says Fiat is reportedly planning to expand its presence in Iran  by opening a luxury Maserati dealership in Tehran.

The group launched its campaign against Fiat last year and called on the company to end its business in Iran.

Fiat has apparently not been listening, with the group now turning to the pop diva to use her influence.

In a letter, UANI's president has asked Lopez, the face of Fiat, to either use her position to make the carmaker change its "irresponsible" policies toward Iran or cut her ties to the company.

"[B]y endorsing Fiat, you are serving as spokesperson for a company that freely does business with a regime that is developing an illegal nuclear weapons program, financing and sponsoring terrorist groups including Al-Qaeda, has killed American and NATO soldiers and is recognized as one of the world's leading human rights violators," the letter says, before making the following plea:


The singer has not yet publicly responded to the letter.

-- Golnaz Esfandiari

It's not clear who is behind the assassination of Mostafa Ahmadi Roshan, the Iranian scientist who was killed on January 11 in northern Tehran in a bomb attack.

Iranian officials were quick to blame Israel and Western intelligence agencies for the explosion that killed Ahmadi Roshan and his driver. The assassination is the fourth since the start of 2010 targeting Iranian physicists and nuclear scientists.

(Click here for pictures of Ahmadi Roshan, including one with his son)
 
Many analysts believe the terrorist attack -- which comes on the second anniversary of the death of another Iranian scientist, Masoud Ali Mohammadi, by a remote controlled bomb -- is part of a covert war against the Islamic republic, aimed at slowing its nuclear program.

Yet it might have the opposite effect and make Tehran even more determined in pursuing its nuclear program, which Western countries believe is aimed at developing nuclear weapons. Iran maintains all its nuclear activities are peaceful.

Iran's First Vice President Mohammad Reza Rahimi said the attack on Ahmadi Roshan, a deputy director of the Natanz uranium-enrichment facility for commercial affairs, would not stop "progress" in the country's nuclear program.

In a statement, Iran's Revolutionary Guard blamed  Israel and "its backers in the White House" for  the assassination, adding that it will accelerate Iran's drive to reach the highest scientific peaks.

The hard-line Rajanews, which said the terrorist attacks in Iran are being conducted with the aim of controlling "Iran's technical achievements" and preventing it from consolidating its role "as a regional power," claims many are asking why the Islamic republic is not retaliating.

The website quotes an unnamed "intelligence source" as saying that Iran is in a good position, following information it obtained from the alleged assassin of Alimohammadi, to take retaliatory steps against those behind the killings of the Iranian scientists. Iranian officials have said that Majid Jamali Fashi, who has pleaded guilty to murdering Ali Mohammadi, had received money and training from Israel.

"Iran's reaction will extend beyond the borders and beyond the region, it follows the strategy that none of those who ordered these attacks should feel safe anywhere," the source said, adding that Iran will enter a new era in its "special intelligence operations" against its enemies.

'Can This Not Be Stopped?'

Some Iranians had a very different question than the one raised by Rajanews. They asked in comments to RFE/RL's Radio Farda and also on social-networking site why Iran is not providing its nuclear scientists with better protection.

"In a country where the police's job is to collect people's satellite dishes and arrest women who are badly veiled, and whose security officials are busy harassing young people who send text messages, the security situation cannot be any better than this," a man based in Tehran wrote on Facebook.

Many condemned the assassination of Ahmadi Roshan and other Iranian scientists.

"It's a terrorist act against an innocent civilian and one of the brains of this country," said one young woman from the Iranian capital in an e-mail exchange with "Persian Letters."

-- Golnaz Esfandiari