Friday, August 26, 2016


The Arms Race Gets Dirty: Russian Scientist Files Patent For New Biological Weapon

A Russian patent-application diagram for a weapons system that was sent to "The Guardian" by its inventor.
A Russian patent-application diagram for a weapons system that was sent to "The Guardian" by its inventor.
Just a few short months after U.S. President Barack Obama indicated a willingness to negotiate with Russia on making further cuts to the two countries' respective nuclear arsenals, it now seems that Moscow could be well placed to open up a new front in the arms race.

That's because St. Petersburg scientist Aleksandr Semenov has reportedly filed a patent for a terrifying new "biological" weapon that could strike fear into the heart of any enemy.

According to the plans he submitted for review in Russia, Semenov wants to design a tank shell whose explosive payload would also include the solid waste produced by the armored vehicle's crew. (As the above diagram clearly illustrates, crew members would simply deposit the waste into a shell compartment directly, before sealing it and firing it at the enemy.)

Semenov appears convinced that the weapon could signify a major advance in the history of conventional warfare (see a video interview of Semenov in Russian here).

"Nuclear weapons are history," the Czech news website quotes him as saying. "They are absolute and destroy everything around them. The same applies to bacteriological and chemical weapons. We are proposing alternative armaments, which are not lethal. They are humane and they do not breach any UN conventions."

According to Marc Abrahams, who received an English translation of the patent documentation and wrote about it in "The Guardian," this innovative new weapons system would be ideal for use under battle conditions, where tank crews often spend long periods trapped in the confined space of their armored vehicles.

Not only would it have a "psychological positive effect" on the tank crew by sparing them from having to endure the stench of their own feces, it would undoubtedly have "additional military-psychological and military-political effects" on any combatant who was unfortunate enough to be in the line of fire.

The use of such missiles may also conceivably put a damper on the much-vaunted use of "shock-and-awe" tactics in modern warfare, as any combatant who tried to use them to scare the s**t out of their enemy could find such an approach counterproductive.

-- Coilin O'Connor
This forum has been closed.
Comment Sorting
by: Terrifying New Weapon
September 13, 2012 19:20
Oh, a classic since the days of catapults.

Assuming this story is real at all. Have you guys become Onionists, or were you always Onionists?

by: Ben
September 13, 2012 20:04
Of course the patent covers the field of the humor that is so rare in Russia after Gogol and is supported by Putin whose humorous attitude towards his sitizens is in the sharp contrast with the opposition`s one.
In Response

by: rick
September 15, 2012 12:30
humor is rare in Russia ?!?!?

You never was in russia ! ! !

by: James from: Nebraska
September 14, 2012 06:16
Going to the Guardian article shown in this article, and following the link provided by them to the Russian Patent Office, the RPO shows a page that says (in Russian): Session key is incorrect. Please log in using correct session key.

This has the hallmarks of a hoax, but propagated elsewhere and RFE/RL, like other Websites, merely got sucked in from a post to a Czech publication.
In Response

by: Putin from: Wrestling a Cave Bear
September 15, 2012 04:37
I think RFE/RL are the hoaxers. That Czech publication is probably next door. They were probably laughing about it at the local cafe. I think RFE/RL has free reign to write about anything it wants, so long as it posts a regular quota of pro-Putin articles.

by: Anonymous
September 25, 2012 20:14
That ammo is crap!

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Written by RFE/RL editors and correspondents, Transmission serves up news, comment, and the odd silly dictator story. While our primary concern is with foreign policy, Transmission is also a place for the ideas -- some serious, some irreverent -- that bubble up from our bureaus. The name recognizes RFE/RL's role as a surrogate broadcaster to places without free media. You can write us at

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