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A Belarusian Protester Walks Into A Bar...

To call the police in the United States, you dial 911; in Russia you dial 02. In Belarus, just clap your hands!
RFE/RL's Belarus Service asked its web readers if they'd heard any good jokes lately regarding current events in Belarus, such as the deepening economic crisis or the weekly "silent" protests organized on the Internet against President Alyaksandr Lukashenka in which demonstrators clap their hands.

Here's a sampling of responses:

1) To call the police in the United States, you dial 911. In Russia, you dial 02. In Belarus, just clap your hands!

2) After a Belarusian dies, he or she goes either to heaven or back to Belarus.

3) A foreigner loses a wallet containing $1,000 in cash. Belarus hasn't experienced such an economic boost in a decade.

4) Our radiators informed us today that Russia has halted energy supplies to Belarus.

5) Everyone knows that Russia has two pains in the butt. In Belarus, we have the one and only, eternal, universally elected...

6) A kindergarten teacher has been found guilty of fomenting disorder for teaching her charges how to play pattycake.

7) The prime minister walks into Lukashenka's office and sees the president disguising himself as Osama bin Laden.
PM: Why are you doing that Batka?
AL: Whaddaya mean why? I can't get into Europe. I can't get into the U.S. Let them chase me for a change!

8) Before the next "silent" protest, let's all eat a lot of beans and orchestrate a simultaneous (gas) release...

9) When Belarus negotiates oil-delivery charges with Russia, it pays only the costs of the telephone call.

10) Minsk Airport notice: Whoever's the last to leave Belarus, please turn out the lights.

About This Blog

Written by RFE/RL editors and correspondents, Transmission serves up news, comment, and the odd silly dictator story. While our primary concern is with foreign policy, Transmission is also a place for the ideas -- some serious, some irreverent -- that bubble up from our bureaus. The name recognizes RFE/RL's role as a surrogate broadcaster to places without free media. You can write us at

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